Handling an Egotist Auditor

The term egotist auditor can not be viewed as an oxymoron.

An auditor cannot but be an egotist.

And like any egotist will do, any auditor doesn't like to be challenged.

If you challenge an egotist he will dig his heels deeper.

He will be more adamant.

Also, like any egotist will do, any auditor would demand to be respected by those that are audited.

Auditors may have richer experience due to the fact that they visit different set-ups but then the other fact is also there that the concepts and basic principles remain same whichever organization it might be.

Auditors need to justify their worth.

So if they fail to find any gaps in an audit it, in their view. might reflect poorly upon their competency.

So at times they end up highlighting issues which may really be non-issues.

Some examples:

• Something was missed five years back but after that that process continued to be followed. Is such a gap worth highlighting? Ideally, no. But auditors may take vicarious pleasure in doing so. And what action would be required to close this issue? Nothing, since its already happening.
• The reference model or standard may not require it but the auditor may have his quirks and idiosyncrasies and demand certain things to be done for reasons best known to him. How can a "good to do" thing be a requirement? It can't be and shouldn't be but an egotist would not care to bother.
• The auditor would raise illogical, unnecessary and meaningless findings that would be technically feasible and would need to be logically closed by saying this was analyzed and found to be technically not feasible. If that point is brought up to the auditor's notice he would refuse to even have a discussion on it. He might say, "is it urgent"and sweep the need for a discussion under the carpet. Or say "leave that to me". Basically wherever he is on weak ground he will refuse to listen. 

The above examples show what kind of idiotic things can happen when you have to handle an egotist auditor.

What else can be expected from an egotist?

Anyone full of lot of conceit and needlessly high sense of self-importance would do precisely that.

Also, such an auditor may take affront for trivial reasons.

This shows the fact that the egotist auditor has a short fuse which is always in a ready state to blow up.

The slightest of challenge or provocation can result in the auditor loosing his cool.

He may throw unnecessary tantrums too.

An auditee may fall sick and there's not much that can be done to help that.

Why, even the auditor may also fall sick.

If someone is not available for medical emergency, the audit process should have provision to handle such a situation.

So how to handle an egotist auditor?

This involves a very simple trick.

Pamper his ego. Keep him in good humour. Tolerate his tantrums.

Showing respect (fake or otherwise) for the ego of an egotist is all that is needed.

That's all. Nothing beyond that.